Want to build your confidence up? 12 Steps to help you be a more confident you

I get it. Some people seem to be born with more confidence than others. I used to be very insecure and I used to dream of being able to go out and live the life I wanted. Make things happen for me. But, when it came to the actual doing my confidence was nowhere to be found… luckily I realized while some people are born confident some others have to learn how to build it up.
After observing what people with high levels of confident act I realized
highly confident people believe in their ability to achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else put their faith in you?
If this is ringing a bell or if you just want to be even more confident than where you are right now, watch out for these twelve things highly confident people do:

1. Excuses be-gone.
Take ownership of your thoughts and actions. Granted, it’s easier to put blame somewhere else (just last week I blamed traffic for being late and, even though there was traffic reality was I was late). Stop excusing your short-comings with excuses like “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; Make the time and keep on improving until you become that good enough.

2. Face your fears.
In this life either you face fear or you let it control your life. The very confident people I know have fears but they don’t let fear dominate their lives. They know that the things they are afraid of doing are often the very same things that they need to do in order to evolve into the person they are meant to be.
Every time I have a hard workout I am afraid I will fail and not being able to accomplish it. Regardless of this I go and do my best. This is with everything I do. I live by the rule of “I rather try and not getting it than wondering all my life what would have happened if I was not afraid”

3. Magic happens just out of your comfort zone.
We need to learn to avoid the comfort zone because this is a place where dreams die. When we get comfortable we stop moving, we stop growing. Instead, actively pursue a feeling of discomfort, because by stretching yourself you will be able to expand what you have set as your limits and will be able to find success.

4. Do.
There is a great phrase that says “I use to castinate, then I became a pro”. I laughed the first time I heard it because that could have defined me. I like to be the best at what I do so I became a pro at putting things for later. If you relate to this remember that a good plan executed today is better than a great plan executed someday. Don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right circumstances”, the right moment is always NOW for that’s all we have. Plus these reactions of waiting for the perfect time are based on a fear of change. Take action here, now, today – because not only that’s the only moment we really have, it is also where progress happens.

5. Control what’s under your control and let go of what other people think of you.
Last summer when I qualified for Olympic Games I had a lot of people being really happy for me… and I also had a lot of people I didn’t even know being really nasty on a website regarding my running abilities. I would lie if I don’t say that I got caught up for a couple of days in the negative feedback until I realized the same reason why someone loves you is the reason why someone won’t. While it’s important to care about the well-being of others and aim to make a positive impact in the world, getting caught up in negative opinions that we can’t do anything about is only going to diminish our self confidence. Learn to know that your true friends will accept you as you are, and they don’t concern with the rest.

6. Look for the story behind before judging.
Highly confident people have no tolerance for unnecessary, self-inflicted drama. They don’t feel the need to insult friends behind their backs, participate in gossip about fellow co-workers or lash out at folks with different opinions. They are so comfortable in who they are that they feel no need to look down on other people.

7. Make things happen.
It would be great if we have all the resources or connections we need but, since that’s not always the case, make use of whatever resources you have, no matter how big or small. All things are possible with creativity and a refusal to quit. Don’t agonize over setbacks, but rather focus on finding a solution.

8. You are unique.
Comparisons are never fair. Compete with no other individual except the person you were yesterday. Know that every person is living a story so unique that drawing comparisons would be an absurd and simplistic exercise in futility.

9. Stand up for yourself.
Highly confident people have no interest in pleasing every person they meet. They are aware that not all people get along, and that’s just how life works. Focus on the quality of your relationships, instead of the quantity of them.

10. Watch your reactions
It’s true that life isn’t fair and things won’t always go our way. While we can’t control every event in our lives, focus on your power to react in a positive way that moves you forward.

11. Keep standing up every time you fall
Yes, we all fall at some point. But building confidence doesn’t mean you do everything perfectly and never fall, but rather learning how to stand up and understanding that failure is an unavoidable part of the growth process. Search for clues that reveal why this approach didn’t work. After modifying your plan, try again with your new knowledge.

12. Be your own boss.
This doesn’t mean start your own business. It means act without hesitation. Without asking anyone for their approval or permission. The only person you need to get permission for in order to act is yourself. If you want something go for it and ask yourself “If not me, who?”
And in order to be a very confident person remember that you are the only person with the power to decide what “confidence” means.

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